Young and in Love (Arlee)


Young and in love

Everything about you invited me in
Pleasurable impulse yet forbidden this sin
Everyone told me to leave you alone

But I was naive; I thought I was grown
You fit me so perfectly how could I have known
how deeply you’d hurt me

So selfishly carelessly you broke me apart
Left me physically broken, and emotionally torn apart

I said I would leave you but you pulled me back in
Spun a web of lyrical lies; I was mesmerized

couldn’t help but to let you back in

For 5 years I pretended that I was happy
That we were the picture of what family should be
I believed I deserved this
That this was my fault that I was defiled

and worth nothing more than the hate you dished out

When I look in the mirror all that I see
Is every negative thing you’ve ever said to me
That no one could love me apart from you
That my daughter will suffer for me leaving you
I try to act confident and Cavalier

tell myself it doesn’t matter that I have nothing to fear
But the truth is

when I’m alone and the world fades out
I sit alone, roll my joint, close my eyes and I cry
I split my veins open, line by line
Bit by bit
Bleed out every toxic word, every touch and every hit
And when it’s all over I clean up and go to sleep
Wake up and put back on the mask everyone expects to see

I wish you could see what you’ve done to me
I’m a shell of the women I was intended to be .

How can you expect me to raise our daughter

to be a good women

to be a black warrior

When you took my spirit and broke it repeatedly
Told me you loved me but continued to beat on me

Love should be beautiful, passionate and kind
But because of you

Love is one thing I’ll never find

-sorry it’s obnoxiously long

~ By: Arlee


2 thoughts on “Young and in Love (Arlee)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s